Making Sense Of What We Feel
What Am I Feeling—and Why?
Frustrated. Sad. Annoyed. Jealous. Worried. Depressed.
We feel so much, so often—and it can get overwhelming. But here’s something that can change everything: not all feelings are the same. And if you want to start feeling better, it helps to understand the difference between feelings and emotions.
Emotions aren’t a luxury or a weakness. They’re part of your body’s built-in healing system. They’re signals from deep inside you, meant to help you process life, stay healthy, and grow.
Over the years, through study and hands-on work with clients, I’ve discovered that there are only eight experiences that truly qualify as emotions. They come in four pairs: one pleasant, one unpleasant in each.
Excitement and Fear Desire and Anger Comfort and Sadness Love and Need
These are what I call pure emotions. They rise up in response to real-life events, and even when they’re painful, they carry meaning and momentum. They help you move through experiences and come out stronger, wiser, and more at peace.
But feelings like frustration, guilt, resentment, and anxiety? Those aren’t pure emotions. They’re signs of internal conflict—of parts of you pulling in different directions. They don’t move you forward. In fact, they often keep you stuck, circling around the same unresolved thoughts and patterns.
Pure emotions may be uncomfortable at times, but they’re healing. They bring your body and mind back into alignment after life’s big and small traumas. That’s why learning to recognize and work with your real emotions—rather than getting lost in feelings—is such a powerful step toward real, lasting change
This Emotional Life 